Friday, February 8, 2008

la la la :-)

“From one man He made every nation of men that they should inhabit the earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. ‘We are His offspring.’ “

Acts 17:26-28

Some of you know how I often struggle with wondering where I belong? I just feel that I don't fit in, anywhere!!! Each time we've gone to Zambia(where I'm originally from) I've been told I speak Nyanja (my Zambian vernacular) with an accent, and that I'm now 'Swazi'. And yet in Swaziland I have constant reminders that I am not Swazi -from people's 'innocent' comments to stupid government offices(don't even get me started on that!!!! :-)). I have a lot of American friends( my brothers constantly make fun of me for being a 'Bush lover', again that's a topic for another day... :-)), and I love them to death and am so thankful for them. They joke about me being half-American, but I'm not( I am pretty much banned from applying for an American visa until 2010!! but let's not get into that!!!!!!!)...I have questioned God often- Why did you bring me to live in a foreign country? (I didn't choose to live here; my parents brought me here when I was too young to have any say!), and why did you keep me here?I want to be Zambian, but I didn't grow up there, I don't live there, and my parents never took us to visit often enough for me to 'keep in touch' with all that's going on there...I am in Swaziland...there are several benefits to being a 'foreigner'. I am such a better person because of it an I love that, but I still have asked God why I cant' just be in a place with people like me, a place where I 'belong'?

I read that verse above just now, and He answered me. Why? So that you would seek me. I know God has ordained every day of my life, in my head, I know, but just now, He spoke to my heart- everything concerning me, every decision He has made concerning my life, He has made because He loves me and He wants nothing more than for me to love Him back!!! i am a Zambian living in Swaziland with a lot of American friends :-) because He wants me to seek Him, to want Him; He is pursuing me, again, I am worth pursuing!!! He is good!!! I am in awe....

2 comments:

The Youngs said...

hopefully as christians, none of us feel like we belong in this world....we are in it....not of it....and just so you know...we can belong to each other :)

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