Pics to follow...soon :-)

I cannot believe the year is almost over!!! Seriously, it seems like days ago I was saying the same thing about 06!! But, again, I am in awe of God’s amazing grace that has allowed me to learn and to grow; to know and love Him more; to be more like Him…one thing I am sure of, maybe the only thing, is that His love endures forever- He is my Lover and I am His beloved; nothing else matters!!!... 2006 brought much transition; it was an exciting year filled with hope and anticipation…2007 has brought change, so much change!!!! There were several times I felt that I had had enough, I couldn’t take anymore( as much as I like to change my hair style& colors often, I rather like other things in my life to be pretty constant J). I have been angry several times at God and at people….He has taken my anger and filled those places of my heart with His love; it’s so much ‘easier’ to love than to be angry!! He has rekindled old dreams and passions; He has walked with me through the change and brought me out on the other side hopeful, excited, ready for more… As much as this year has so flown by, it has been so full; so much has happen, so much has been lost and so much gained, seriously it’s felt like 10 years in some ways!! J I have always been a planner; I like things, esp. my life, to be organized. I like explanations, answers, logic. As I grow older I am learning the beauty of letting go- not so my life can be out of control- but rather so it can be in the control of the only One who really has everything under His control, the One who has the whole world in His hands…I wrote these words about 4 years ago, but I think only now am I beginning to really grasp what they truly mean…

I want to be where You are
I want to stand in the midst of Your presence
Always near never far
Serving You Lord in reverence
I want to be
I want to be
Where You are

Wherever You lead me
Whatever You ask
Wherever You send me
Whatever the task
Things that make me cry
Things that make me smile
Anything anywhere
I just want to be where You are…

*One of the amazing blessings God has given me this year is the gift of friendships… great friendships…thank you to all of the amazing people that have allowed God to use them in my life…I can’t wait for heaven when we can all be together always, when no one ever has to leave…

Where Are You Christmas?? :-)

Merry Christmas!! Watch as many Christmas movies as you can, sing( or maybe just listen to :0)) as many Christmas songs as you can, eat, eat,and eat...celebrate Jesus' birth like it means something to you!!!! :-)

How deep the Father's love for us...

how vast beyond all measure!!!!

The past week has been a hectic series of days with sooooo much to get done and seemingly too little time :-(…pretty much I have been feeling really overwhelmed!! On Friday, I heard that my grandfather had passed away. The last time I saw him was in 2005(which was the last time I went to Zambia where he was living and where I’m originally from). I have awesome memories of him giving me the biggest hugs and spinning me around whenever I was little and him giving us so much bubble gum from his grocery store that our mouths hurt from chewing it :-)…he was a great grandfather (but after moving to Swaziland over 15 years ago and only having visited Zambia about 4 times since then we weren’t really close and he was really old so I was kind of prepared). My mum, on the other hand (this was her dad), took it really heard. Seeing her in all that pain was not at all fun!!! I was very concerned for her and worried that I would not be able to give her the love and comfort she needed (since I am the only one God has chosen to do this:-))…it’s been 3 days and I am in awe of God’s goodness!!! He has totally provided the comfort and support my mum needed through friends, workmates and family. I have watched love in action and it’s such a beautiful thing!! I was thinking as we were picking up my mum from a friends house ( a friend of hers who had offered to make her an outfit for her the funeral and has just been such a great help and encouragement) what my grandfather would be thinking as he watched his baby all grown up…he would be so proud of the life she has led and the friendships she has made( friendships that come through during hard times), he was proud of her and I am too!! I am so thankful for the way in which my Heavenly father took this ‘sad thing’ and used it to rekindle in me faith in humanity (for lack of better words:-)). Watching my mother’s friends love and support her through this touched me so much more than I thought it would, not just because I hurt as she was hurting but more because I had allowed the ‘bad things’ in life to make me negative (pretty much expecting nothing good from people, rather be surprised than disappointed- ok maybe I’m exaggerating, but really I didn’t realize how negative I had become!) My grandfather died and God showed me the beauty of Hs love at work in His people and a part of me that had ‘died’ was resurrected. It’s a pretty cool experience…thank you Father…and thank you to everyone that prayed with me, for me!!

time for a new post :-)

I would like to say just how proud I am of my little brother, Peter. He won awards for excellence in Math and Science, Cricketer of the year, and he also won this award called the CDC award. It’s the Character Discipline Courtesy award and is given to the student who displays character traits that are ‘rare in today’s society’. I was so freaking proud of him!!! I was totally the embarrassing big sister and cheered really loudly (pretty much screamed) when his name was called out. :-) I love being a big sister!!

…so, I went to the Speech and Prize giving day with my little sister, Tamara (who is 17). She went to the table that had the pile of programs to get one and was told that they’re only for adults. So, she came to me and asked that I, the adult, go and get a program. I walked up to the table and said, “Could I please have a program?”

The lady responded, “How old are you?”

I exercised much self-control, and calmly replied, “24”

She said, “The programs are only for adults”

This time I thought I would blow up, but again, somehow managed to calmly reply, “I am an adult”

I mean, if I’m going to lie about my age, I’m not going to do it for a stupid program!!!agghhh!!!...anyway…

The story doesn’t end here…the guest speaker for the Speech and prize-giving day was the US ambassador, and all of the grade 7s( my brother included) all got certificates singed by Bush, yes, US president George W. Bush!!! So that was pretty cool? Weird? Random?...and then later on that night I went to a fireworks show thing with some friends( my parents also attended, but we traveled separately). It was in Manzini( a city that I am absolutely petrified of- well I guess that’s an exaggeration- but, really, I will not carry bag when in Manzini, all my valuables are safely put away in my pockets, but this time I went to Manzini, at night, mind you, and it was actually fun…until it started to get hectic and my dad’s phone got stolen!!...but the night was still young and there was more fun to be had. We all went to my friend, Jacci’s house and played Dutch blitz and I totally beat everyone!!! Yes, I love winning!!! :-)

On a serious note, God has been absolutely amazing the past few days. He has shown His love and grace to me. I had this habit that I feel like I have been struggling with forever and I just couldn’t figure out how to stop it. The other day, I cried out to Him, and just let Him know honestly how I felt. His response: He just held me and loved me. He let me know He loved me, and I just cried because even though I know God loves me unconditionally, I am always taken aback when I experience this amazing love He has for me. This morning during our devotion, my friend Jacci talked about the names of God. One of the names that stood out to me was Jehovah Shammah- The Lord is There. There have been many times the past year when He has let me know just that- that He is there, He is here right next to me, and nothing else matters, every obstacle, habit, trial is insignificant because He is there!!!