Kristen don't read this until you watch episode 18!!! ;-) Really, don't

I’m on a mission to get done with season 5 of 24.Those who know me well will know that I am a devoted fan. At times, I have been known to be a little too devoted. ;-) But I just love the show and appreciate the great story lines. I love how it challenges my mind. It may not have any actor, as yet, as hot as Wentworth Miller, but it’s still the greatest show ever!! ;-) Whenever I’m watching, I analyse everything. This is a fact about me that has advantages and disadvantages. (Hopefully more advantages ;-)) I am on episode 19 and had to stop to express some thoughts. Since season 1, my frustration as I have watched 24, has been the fact that the true hero, Bauer, doesn’t not only get robbed of the praise due him, but even gets all kinds of crap after he has pretty much given up himself for not just his country, but pretty much the whole world!! That alone could make up a great sermon. ;-) As I have been watching season 5 and come to the part where it is being revealed that great and respectable men, including the president of the USA are involved in this huge conspiracy and are now trying to have Bauer (who has lost pretty much everything he loved trying to serve them) killed!!!, something else comes to mind- the book A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards.

It’s a book about how brokenness is an essential part of our lives if we are ever to lead in any kind of way. The 3 kings are Saul, David, and Absalom (from the Bible ;-)) King David experienced brokenness in his life several times. He was not perfect, but He was a man after God’s own heart, and He was a great King. King Saul, on the other hand, did not embrace brokenness, but resisted it and ended up in a huge mess, hurting not only himself, but also a bunch of people along the way. Life has taught me that titles given by men mean nothing. I am a rebel at heart. I don’t really prefer diplomacy. I don’t respect names and faces; I respect hearts! Sometimes this gets me in trouble. ;-) I am saddened and, at times, angered by how so many are quick to bow down to ‘titles’, ‘names’, and ‘faces’ before they take the time to know the heart of the person, but I am encouraged by the fact that even though man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart. He is neither fooled nor impressed by façades. Throughout the book, A Tale of Three Kings, the author keeps reminding us that only God knows who is a ‘King David and who is a ‘King Saul and He won’t tell. Our job is not to point fingers and place labels, but rather to have God search our own lest we become ‘King Sauls’- so afraid of pain and brokenness that we are willing to crush anyone that is a threat to whatever it is we think we have achieved, forgetting that all authority belongs to God who gives and takes as He sees fit!!!

I’ve been sick since last Sunday and didn’t really have the option to just stay home and sleep til I got better. I’ve had a strenuous week, and my emotions have not responded well. I have felt like cussing people out, punching some, and doing some other not so great things. A really good friend of mine advised me to find the good in all this the other day. When she said it, I looked, but found no good. I was sick, tired, and really emotionally unstable. This morning I had a breakdown. I’m glad I did. There are times when it hurts so much, we skip past the pain. We go straight to the anger and bitterness. But He won’t let us. He would rather see us cry and feel the pain. Anger and bitterness ‘feel’ safer, but they are just an unstable false wall of protection. Pain reminds us of our weakness. Our weakness reminds us of His strength. Brokenness draws us to Him, and, that’s the point of it all. I guess I have finally found the good- He has drawn me closer to Himself!!

So that, dear friends, is what I learned from 24, A Tale of Three Kings, and a really sucky week. ;-)